The Bar-Setter

The bar (high/low) -- establishes an expected, required, or desired standard of quality.

Marriage isn't for everyone. Take for example, Charlize Theron and Tyra Banks. Both beautiful & successful women in their field. Another brand of celebrated women; for the sake of this conversation, those who are well-known due to who their husbands are., They for whatever reason, experienced the lost of that spouse by death or divorce.; desiring not to marry again. So, with that, let's talk about being pleased to travel life's road solo, but, with a subliminal measure tape, coined, the "Bar-setter."

I love the premise of the blog - not, because I'm a walking, talking resource regarding the subject; but, because I also know countless stories told of women who speak of great sadness, as well as those who speak of game-changing satisfaction.

Once told to me in the matters of romantic love, "he who sets the bar for you, unbeknownst to you, you look for bits and pieces of him always."

So, I'm asking, who set your bar? Was the interaction favorable or the reverse? The bar-setter is not the same, as the one you deemed as your first love. We call that, puppy love. The differences are as degrees of light. The first time you come into the knowledge, that your heart can feel a certain way. It's exciting - what a rush! This feeling we know usually happens early in life - that's why it's called puppy - the whole sensation is an awakening. AHH but, the bar-setter, comes along, and causes you to determine what your preference is based on; due to their treatment of you.

I really, truly believe I have been able to live a satisfying single life, the years I have; due to the bar that was set for me. I am of the mindset when and if a person experiences being protected and cared for lovingly, the memory of that person is hard to forget - or come close to. It satisfies---Looking back, I can agree, yes, I think you do-subconsciously measure others that may come after him through those lenses. The funny thing is, when you encounter them - you have no clue the care of his consideration will become a stable in your life - some women have been blessed to meet him who set the bar for her and love endures - they married; others, met their bar-setter only for a season; whichever the case, a soul tie was established. When it was only for a season, you deal with one eyebrow up as you meet prospects, while they're speaking, you are not aware that you are squinting all the while.

As stated in another post, this is not an indictment on the status, of Being Alone - here, I simply explore and examine, why it is and what is the energy behind (in this case) a woman's prolonged singleness. Whether you are a satisfied single or a prisoner of memories of former harsh treatment, seek to set yourself free; free from the bar-setter - that you may live free to love or to be plain grateful for the time that was...

The bar-setter is a position of influence for sure; him setting the bar, allowed you to set your own bar.